Election 2016: A Political Satire

If you want to understand the odd proceedings of our political season, you might consider reading Lewis Carroll’s marvelous satire “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland“. The Mad Hatter’s tea party neatly encapsulates our reality.

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In keeping with this satirical perspective, I have a few pithy observations to offer.

  • Dr. Ben Carson sounds like he has been dipping into his Valium stash.
  • Donald Trump isn’t crazy. You are. Keep those polling votes coming.
  • Jeb Bush seems to be more fluent in Spanish than English.
  • Chris Christie is … oh fuhgeddaboudit!
  • Bernie Sanders has resurrected the recipe for “Peace in Our Time.
  • Scott Walker’s campaign seems oddly about curbing the power of onions.
  • Electing Ted Cruz has at least the benefit of getting him out of the Senate.
  • Jim Gilmore is a fake candidate. There is no Jim Gilmore.
  • Bobby Jindal talks so fast he should have a time handicap in the debates.
  • Hillary Clinton is living proof of the massive right wing conspiracy.
  • Marco Rubio looks like every aunt’s favorite nephew.
  • Mike Huckabee might run under the slogan “Some Laws Don’t Matter.
  • Since height affects the vote, Carly Fiorina should have to wear flats.
  • Let’s stamp out cute baby names for candidates, like Bernie and Bobby.
  • These candidates prove that the only qualifications are age and citizenship.
  • All candidates, raise your hand if you believe the Bible is the literal truth.” Heh, heh…gotcha!
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